It seems like common civility is a dying art these days. It seems to strain some people unduly to manage even a modicum of common courtesy toward others -- from letting people merge on the freeway in an orderly fashion to giving others the opportunity to speak their minds without ridiculing their belief system or taking offense at the fact that they might possibly disagree with you.
Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? Whatever happened to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" Apparently that only counts in one direction for most people -- it's only important what other people do to them, not what they do to other people. How else can you explain the constant bickering and whinging that continues to pervade politics, with both sides launching fusillade after fusillade, meanwhile neglecting that their first order of business should be to govern the country according to the will of their constituents -- and by constituents, I mean the people, not the businesses and lobbyists that pay them the most money . . . And the Golden Rule has gone by the wayside in many interpersonal interactions these days. From poor traffic behavior to rudeness to lack of even the most basic manners that many of us were raised with -- things like getting up from your seat on the bus if someone older or appearing to be more in need of the seat (like a pregnant woman or someone carrying a number of burdens) gets on the bus, or holding the door open when there's a person coming in behind you, or allowing the person with only two items in their basket to get in line ahead of you . . . courtesies that cost you nothing, but do much to ease the way for someone else . . . whatever happened to that?
And finally, to me the biggest issue these days is the inability of others to refrain from judging and commenting on everything that anyone else does that offends their apparently frail sensibilities. I recently got involved in a conversation online about breastfeeding in public, and was astounded by the number of people who still complain about a woman nursing her child in public. The main complaint was that they were "offended" by the sight of a woman's breast. I'm sorry . . . did someone take away your ability to turn your head? To ignore something that bothers you? I don't know about you, but one of the biggest lessons I have worked (and continue to work) to teach my sons is to ignore the behaviors that they don't like in others. For the most part (except in extreme cases) I think ignoring the foibles of others is the best approach and the way to smooth social discourse . . . after all, we weren't created as cookie cutter copies of each other. Every person has a personality, quirks, habits, etc. that others might find annoying, distasteful, or somehow disturbing. But when did it become obligatory that the individual must conform to someone else's norm for every interaction? What people seem to forget when bitching about their individual rights is that -- here's a shocker -- EVERYONE has individual rights. Sometimes my individual rights and your individual rights coincide . . . and sometimes they conflict. If they coincide . . . great. If they conflict, then it is incumbent upon BOTH of us to accommodate the rights of the other as best we can or reach a compromise in order for both to retain some rights.
And when all else fails? Keep in mind that you are responsible for yourself (and perhaps your children) . . . not for the behavior of anyone else on the planet. You are not the arbiter of anyone else's behavior other than your own (and your children, perhaps). Remember to mind yourself and your own first, and be less busy in minding everyone else. Maybe then we can move forward into a new age of civility and common consideration.
